Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Sitting on My Laurels

But at least I am ahead of Julius Caesar and know exactly where they are.

Which makes it worse - resting, perhaps content of having finished it but definitely petrified of having failed.

I have not looked at my novel in weeks, not since I received a rejection.  Naturally, I expected that I would get one (well, a lot more actually) but the automatic five-minutes-after-I-submitted rejection was annoying nonetheless.  What I did not expect was the effect it had on me - not upset or sad or indignant or whatnot, just hit with a surge of self-doubt.  Normally I regroup within minutes and move on, so by all accounts I should have sent a query to the next agent on my list within a few days.  But nothing, which is why I have also neglected this blog and writing in general.

Anyone else experience this sort of inability to move ahead?  Somehow uncertainty, filled with possibility, was so much kinder.


  1. Hey! E.D.!
    I can sympathize with your feelings 100 percent. As an artist with little sales and recognition I stumple into that same trap every once in a while, can´t paint, can´t write, feeling that all my efforts are in vain. But I am fortunate to have (actually 3) dear friends who encourage me, that I do have something to say. Friends whose verdicts are important to me because I ackowledge their competence and am concinced they know what they are talking about, who are honest with me, who give me honest feedback. Then I recover, knowing that in the first place and above all I have to be convinced of my work. Not only that I did as best as I could but have reached a point, where I don´t have to fear other peoples judgement. Selling my collages or being published is a second step that is detached from the creative process and the qualitiy my work. Deep down in my heart I know that a rejection really really really doesn´t say anything about the quality of one´s work. It only means you haven´t found the right person to appreciate it. And that means you have to keep on searching! Please E.D. keep on searching, keep on submitting. Don´t stop believing in your work because of one rejection.

    And of cource we don´t have to talk about work that has made its way into the world and has found recognition inspite the lack of qualitiy. At least in our own very subjective point of view. Jede Form der Anerkennung ist subjektiv. Deswegen, und damit hat meine Rede ja begonnen, musst du ueberzeugt sein, von dem was du produziert hast. Dann kannst du deine Brust rausstrecken und mit erhobenem Haupt jede Ablehnung annehmen. Und sie als Aufforderung verstehen, weiter zu suchen.
    So! Keep on searching.
    Too long for a blog comment? Sorry (writers disease).
    And glad to hear from you, after all the pictures in the press about the storm´s massive destruction and the many deaths it left behind.

    1. Hi Barbara,

      Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. Ich weiss das Du weist genau was ich meine! I will regroup and carry on!

  2. Yep - totally relate. It's frustrating when you send a query and maybe ten pages and get rejected in two seconds, because you know it's not your writing that's being rejected, but the query and/or the way you present the idea of your novel. (Is that not the longest sentence you've read in a while! :)) Anyway, I don't know the answer on how to get your mojo back, because I think it must be different with everyone, but you can be confident you'll find your way. Don't be too hard on yourself.

    1. Thank you Lara - it is so hard, right? But otherwise I guess what is the point?

  3. Yes, I have. However, that doesn't make me want to quit. You are good, you are smart and you know how to write. Don't doubt for long! Good luck to you!

  4. Rejections are tough and sometimes you do need to let out those feelings. I've cried over them. I'm not ashamed to admit it. But then you have to realize that when it comes to querying, you have to find someone who LOVES your work. You don't want just anyone. You'll find that person. So take time to feel what you're feeling about this rejection and then let it go.

    Good luck!

  5. Yep! That's me too. I wallow in self pity for a bit and then get back on the horse ( so to speak)... Happens every time! Oh well, so far I keep banging on!

  6. Been there! In fact, I am there right now. Time just to take a deep breath (and maybe some chocolate) and dive in again. Writing (and its inevitable rejections)is not for wimps!

  7. Oh, rejections are such an essential part of writing as computers and other devices for writing, it seems... Don't be discouraged by that. There are so many cases of world famous authors who had been rejected dozens or even hundreds of times (J. K. Rowling, Steven King for example). A writer just has to be persistent and never give up, try to find your good inspiration instead! Don't think about rejection but about the good story and characters you would create :)...
    I have another suggestion you would like I guess, I usually post it at any site, blog I like: using sites like, cafepress. com, fiverr? They could be a good way to show your works and to help "remove" stupidity in the streets like headlines on t-shirts, fridge-magnets, cups, etc: My Boyfriend kisses Better Than Yours, FBI - female body inspector, etc. Not everything we see and think of should be about sex, right? It would be much better if there were more nice pictures, good thoughts, poems (from any genre are welcome I guess), etc? I'm allanbard there, I use some of my illustrations, thoughts, poems from my books (like: One can fight money only with money, Even in the hottest fire there's a bit of water, Money are amongst the last things that make people rich, or
    Love and happiness will be around,
    as all the chains will disappear,
    and Mountaineers will climb their mount
    and there won't be any tear!
    etc). I guess such lines could be appreciated by any author! Best wishes! Keep up the good work! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (a greeting of the water dragons' hunters - my Tale Of The Rock Pieces).

  8. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support!

  9. I'm a bit late commenting, but wanted to say I can empathise with your experience; my (full) manuscript got rejected recently, and though it's not the first rejection, it still hurts. It feels a bit like being rebuffed by a potential lover, after making eyes at each other across the room, and having shared my life story with them. I've found it hard to write since, but I'm sure if I (and you) persist, success in some shape or form will follow. All the best. (-: