Monday, June 27, 2011

Lovin' the Language Blogfest

I am still not sure what exactly a blogfest is or what it is supposed to achieve, but the subject of Jolene B. Perry's Blogfest is too interesting to pass up.  For me, reading and writing are about the language, the way the words transport me into the character's world, the way their mere sounds can change my mood.  So - lovin' language, here we go!  My five-sentence entry from my WIP:


"I have been lucky.  I haven’t been to a hospital in forty-three years.  I received my conscription papers from the Serbian military a week after my seventeenth birthday and I was ordered to submit to a physical exam.  All young males had to serve and my kind, the ethic German and Hungarian teenagers, were the first to be called in.  I was just a boy then, short and bony, and my hand felt the barrel of a gun before it ever held a razor."  

And here is another:

"The long white curtains are dancing to the afternoon wind, flowing like the skirts of lithe dancers.  The breeze is warm but refreshing, cleansing the air of the putrid smell of disease that has infiltrated every molecule around me.  I wish it would dissolve my gaze glued to the old man walking the hallway and dragging his skeletal frame behind his gray cane.  I must close my eyes; I must stop polluting his dignity and feeding my fear.  But it is too late.  I missed the opportunity the second I laid my eyes on him."
 

7 comments:

  1. I've really enjoyed this particular blogfest because it offered a chance to see what a lot of people were up to, writing wise.

    I loved the line "I was just a boy then, short and bony, and my hand felt the barrel of a gun before it ever held a razor."

    Good stuff!

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  2. I love the gun & razor line as well...and the imagery in the second one is great---especially the contrast between the comfort of the warm breeze and the discomfort of the putrid smell of disease.

    Very nicely done! ;o)

    xox, Shannon

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  3. "I was just a boy then, short and bony, and my hand felt the barrel of a gun before it ever held a razor."

    I love that line! It shows so much about this character and his world. So awesome.

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  4. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my passages! Glad you liked them :-) I too enjoyed the blogfest - there is so much to learn from other writers - I hope I can finish reading all the entries tonight.

    All the best,
    E.D.

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  5. Cool! I'm so glad you decided to join in the fun! I LOVE seeing small bits of writing that I have from everyone.

    Nice job :D

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  6. The second I read "I have been lucky", my mind exploded in a hundred different directions--thought-wise I mean. Great hook, I wanted to know why and wanted to read more!

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  7. Thank you Lindy. I am working on my synopsis now and this was a very helpful comment!

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